im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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