If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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