i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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