Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize