Screwed.edu
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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