I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
