Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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