she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
