Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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