oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I have fence marks all over my body
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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