porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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