My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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