Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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