is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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