She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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