Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
