yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
