So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
