Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
