; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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