she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
