Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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