She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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