i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
