I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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