god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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