i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
