my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
