3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
