the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize