dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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