3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
as a side note pls kill me
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
