did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
