we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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