We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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