Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
