How'd it feel making her break her religion?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Can you bring me the toilet please
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
