Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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