can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize