and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
zippers are such a cool invention
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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