FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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