On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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