Sponge bath it is.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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