the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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