I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
