O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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