I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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