what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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