He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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