suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
