Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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