we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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