tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
