Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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