I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
