New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You are a genius and a whore.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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