Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Your penis caused this!
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