i may or may not be watching the land before time
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
