Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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