I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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