Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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