Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
