think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
