he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
