So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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